


The Best Decision Ever Made

by Arcwin



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Airports, Day At The Beach, Dirk Gently Being Dirk Gently, Fluff, Gen, Silly Dirk!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-28
Updated: 2018-06-28
Packaged: 2019-05-29 21:08:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15081761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arcwin/pseuds/Arcwin
Summary: Dirk is very pleased with his decision. It’s a rather good decision--no, a downright fantastic decision! In fact, it might be the very best decision he’s ever made.You see, Dirk has decided that he and Todd have spent entirely too much time lately doing dull things like work and investigate and sleep. Okay, maybe investigating isn’t that dull, but he can tell that Todd and Farrah just need a break from it all. So, in a flash of insight at 3:16am, Dirk has decided that they need to have a day at the beach.





	The Best Decision Ever Made

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a monthly prompt challenge between myself and my two besties, SmearedBlackInk and Beta_Jawn. The June prompt is "Beach". 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Dirk is _very_ pleased with his decision. It’s a rather good decision--no, a downright _fantastic decision!_ In fact, it might be the very _best_ decision he’s ever made.

You see, Dirk has decided that he and Todd have spent entirely too much time lately doing dull things like _work_ and _investigate_ and _sleep._ Okay, maybe investigating isn’t that dull, but he can tell that Todd and Farrah just need a break from it all. So, in a flash of insight at 3:16am, Dirk has decided that they need to have a day at the beach.

And not just any old beach.

He’s decided that they need to take a trip to California and visit La Jolla, down near San Diego. He’s aware that Todd will protest, and Farrah will complain about it being a waste of company money, but he’s certain that this time they’ll understand why this is so important.

And if not, he’ll just whine until they give in!

Yes, this decision is most definitely the best one he’s made in a long, _long_ , time.

Never mind the fact that he’s never _been_ to a beach before. It ought to be fine. He’ll be there with his bestest friends in the whole wide world, which means it’ll be a perfect experience. Dirk lays down again (he had bolted upright when he had his marvelous idea) and smiles to himself, too excited to try to sleep again. He imagines the beach, complete with its crashing waves, calling seagulls, and sandy shores stretching for miles. He thinks of how relaxed he’ll feel, lounging with his friends…

And promptly passes out.

The next morning, he startles awake, again sitting ramrod straight, and immediately yells, “Todd!”

Todd, who’s laying in the next room dead to the world, also sits upright in bed at the shout. He rolls over onto his stomach, grumbling, then begrudgingly extracts himself from the tangle of sheets around his legs. He nearly falls on his face, but quick reflexes stop him from giving himself _yet another_ egg on his head. (This isn’t the first time Dirk’s woken him up with a shout.) Stumbling into Dirk’s room and blearily scrubbing the sleep out of his eyes, he gives his friend a serious and simultaneously sympathetic look.

“You’re safe, Dirk, I’m here,” he says calmly, padding over to the side of the bed and placing a hand on Dirk’s shoulder.

“What?” Dirk says, confused. What on earth is he talking about?

“Aren’t you having a nightmare?” Todd asks, also confused. They stare at each other, mirroring the confusion, until Dirk finally breaks eye contact by shaking his head.

“I have nightmares?” he asks.

Todd, running a hand through his hair, sighs. “Nevermind. What did you call me for?”

“I have a glorious idea, Todd!” Dirk exclaims with a finger pointed at the ceiling. “We are going to take a trip!”

“A trip?” Todd sinks down to sit on the bed next to Dirk, his shoulders hunching forward from so many years of bad posture. “What? Why? Where?”

Dirk turns and quirks his eyebrow at Todd, a mischievous smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth in a totally adorable way. “We need a vacation, and I want to go to La Jolla.”

“La Jolla?”

Hopping off the bed, Dirk nods emphatically. “Come on! I’ve heard that the beach there is phenomenal! We are going, and that’s that. Farah already agreed!” he exclaims while bounding around his room like an excited puppy.

Todd stays where he is and watches for a moment, before his brain wakes up a bit more and he repeats, “Farah already agreed? Why didn’t she--”

“Well, she _will_ once I tell her! Let’s _go_ , I want to buy plane tickets and you _know_ I don’t know how to do that without help. Go make coffee and sit at the table with our--”

“My--” Todd interrupts, determined to remind Dirk once again that his property is not to be shared, despite Dirk’s best efforts to make everything in their apartment a free-for-all.

“ ** _Our_ ** laptop! I’ll be there momentarily! Shoo shoo shoo!” Dirk snatches Todd up by the shoulders and shoves him unceremoniously out of his room, slamming the door in his face so he can change. He already has the perfect _plane_ outfit in mind, and they simply _must_ get to the airport before anybody realizes what he’s doing and tries to stop him. Or before _he_ realizes what he’s doing and tries to stop himself. Whichever it is, he doesn’t want it to happen, so **_full steam ahead!_ **

* * *

Convincing Farah was not nearly as easy as it was with Todd, but Dirk persisted and Todd just kept shrugging so eventually Farah chose the path of least resistance and said she’d meet them at their apartment in an hour.

“With your beach clothes,” Dirk reminded before hanging up FaceTime.

“Yes, with my beach clothes, Dirk.” Farah thought for a moment, considering how odd that phrase sounded. What do people usually say? It’s not beach clothes, it’s…

“See you soon!”

_Beep beep. Call ended._

“See, told you,” Dirk beams at Todd while throwing his clothing into a duffel bag. “I knew she’d agree that going to the beach in La Jolla is a great idea!”

Todd grumbles to himself and walks away to pack a bag. Looks like they’re going to La Jolla after all. At exactly one hour later, Farah arrives and honks her horn, ready to go. The roommates rush down the stairs...well, to be honest, Dirk does all the rushing. Todd merely shuffles along, carrying both of the bags and frowning the entire time. They get into the car and off they go to the airport!

After some interesting experiences in the security line--

“What do you mean I can’t bring my milkshake through security? How could anyone possibly be harmed by a _milkshake_ !? Todd, honestly, that’s absurd. Tell the man it’s absurd. No really, Todd. Todd? Wait, Todd! Wait, no, he’s my friend, we’re traveling together, I need to go--okay, fine, yes. I’ll finish it.” _slurrrrrrrrrrrrrp_ “Okay now can I--oh for heaven’s sake, _now_ you want me to take off _my_ **_shoes!?_ ** ”

\--and a frankly ridiculous amount of money spent on Seattle souvenirs--

“Dirk, you _know_ we live here, right?”

“Of course I know we live here, Farah. That’s why I need all the swag! To _represent_ , as it were.”

“Usually people buy stuff like this to remember a place they’ve visited, not the place they live.”

“Well, lots of people make lots of silly decisions, don’t they? Hardly my fault they’re missing the point.”

\--the threesome finally make it onto their plane.

Todd stares at their row, considering which seat he’d feel the least irritated about. To be honest, all of them would irritate him, but he has to decide if he wants to sit next to Dirk, who won’t stop talking, or Farah, who would be exactly the opposite.

He nearly has it sorted when Dirk exclaims, “Todd, sit by me so we can share snacks!” at the same time Farah says, “I’ll take the aisle. Gives me a better view of the rest of the passengers.”

“Looks like I’m in the middle, then,” Todd comments to himself before chucking his backpack onto his seat. Dirk beams at him and slinks across the seats, plopping down happily and immediately opening the window to stare outside at the other planes. Todd watches him, amused at how childlike he can be, and takes his place in the middle. Farah joins them, and before long the rest of the plane has filled up and the flight attendants are doing their safety briefing.

“Farah. Farah!” Dirk stage-whispers across Todd’s lap. Farah ignores him, watching the briefing with hawk-like intensity. “Farah!” he repeats, trying to reach across to her. She glares, her severe cheekbones even more prominent, and turns back to continue enjoying the presentation. Dirk gives up with a pout, withdrawing back to his own space. Todd attempts to ignore him, but fails miserably.

“Did you need something?” he asks quietly, completely aware that Farah will smack them both if they interrupt her favorite portion of air travel.

Dirk sighs and shakes his head, again looking out the window. Todd shrugs to himself, pops in his headphones, and prepares to spend the rest of the flight in his own little world, preferably catching up on the sleep he lost when Dirk shouted for him earlier that morning.

 _Beach. Beach beach beach beach beach beach beach beach beach….beach!_ The mantra repeats itself in Dirk’s head, making him bob his head excitedly. This flight is taking entirely too much time, he decides. Perhaps he should have chosen a closer beach? Ah, but he’s wanted to go to La Jolla _forever!_ Well, if forever equals ‘since he saw that one documentary about the beautiful dark grey sand there.’ (It was about a week ago.)

He scrolls through the in-flight entertainment options and settles on his favorite superhero movie--the one with “Lord of Thunder” or whatever--and smiles to himself. Soon they’ll be in California, headed to drop their bags off and change into their beach uniforms (outfits? clothes? He can’t remember) and finally relaxing on the beach.

* * *

The hotel room that they end up in is delightfully cozy--two large beds, a fully stocked mini-fridge, a kettle and coffee pot, and the largest bathroom Dirk has ever seen. Enamored, he wonders why they don’t just live in a hotel full time. It’s much nicer than their apartment! Then he remembers how expensive this hotel room is, and promptly decides that their apartment is just right for them.

Todd falls back onto one of the beds, letting out a strangled groan of both relief and exhaustion. Farah immediately begins unpacking her small bag into one of the wardrobes, carefully hanging her blouses up and aligning her shoes on the floor. Everything has the military precision she’s known for, and Dirk smiles, feeling tremendously fond of the both of them for indulging him in this experience. He considers telling them how grateful he is, but something outside the window catches his eye.

Pulling back the sheer curtains, he gasps. There, in front of him, is a gorgeous view of La Jolla shores, the very beach they’ve traveled to see! It spans for miles in either direction, the dark sand glittering in the sunlight and the bright blue waves crashing and flooding onto the shore. There are some large brown rocks in the distance, littered with bizarrely shaped smaller rocks--wait, no! They’re seals! Dirk claps his hands together, thrilled to see the ungainly beasts lounging lazily in the warmth of the sun. Overcome, he stares for a moment longer before deciding that he needs to go there _immediately_.

“It’s time,” he announces, dropping the curtains back into place and bounding across the room to grab his duffel bag. “I call the bathroom!” he shouts as he disappears behind the door with a _click_.

Within fifteen minutes and a lot of _‘come on!’_ from Dirk, the trio is walking down the path leading to the beach. They pass a myriad of cars, vans, and a singular Volkswagen bus (which Dirk _loves_ ) and finally find a spot to settle in. The gulls are crying overhead, landing in small droves whenever a bather drops some food. Dirk watches as the waves crash onto the beach, carrying the seafoam far across the dark grey sand. The sun is high above in the cloudless blue sky, its heat on the edge of too hot for comfort.

_It’s perfect._

Well, until Dirk steps onto the sand with his bare feet.

“What? Why is it...what’s it doing? Todd? Farah? Help me, what is this stuff? It won’t get off my feet!” he complains, hopping from foot to foot.

His companions stare, confused, until Todd says, “Dirk, it’s just sand.”

Dirk frowns petulantly, gingerly standing on top of his sandals and glaring at the ground. “Well, I _hate_ it. It’s gritty and sticks to everything and gets between my toes! It’s _dreadful!_ ”

“But, Dirk,” Farah replies. “You knew that there would be sand here, right?”

Dirk stops shooting dirty looks at the offending material and purses his lips, a light pink flushing over his cheek. He refuses to answer, knowing that anything he says will out him immediately as a beach virgin. _Too embarrassing!_

Todd takes a step forward, placing a hand on Dirk’s shoulder and asks quietly, “Have you ever been to the beach before?” His friend freezes, considering, then shakes his head a few times. “Oh.” Todd, being ever so awkward at communicating, also freezes and stares at the ground as he remembers Dirk’s past. The three of them remain this way for an _eternity_ until Farah clears her throat to break the silence.

“Okay! Let’s go swimming!” she suggests, grabbing her two companions by their elbows and steering them towards the water.

Initially, Dirk perks up, seemingly forgetting about the sand coating his feet.

That is, until the water touches him.

“Dear _Christ in Heaven_ that is **cold**!” he shouts, jumping backwards away from the waves sliding across the beach towards him.

Todd gapes for a moment, shares a _look_ with Farah, and then follows Dirk back to the sand, where he’s hopping from one foot to the other and yelping. “What’s wrong now?”

“It’s burning my feet Todd!” Dirk replies. “And why is the water so cold? I thought it might be like taking a bath, but it’s frigid!”

Finally, Todd can’t take it anymore and dissolves into giggles. Dirk throws his most affronted look at Todd, which only makes him laugh harder. Feeling betrayed, Dirk stomps back to the towels and sits down to sulk. His friend follows him, casting shadows while he stands over him and Dirk folds in on himself with disappointment, internally berating himself for being so stupid.

“Never been to the beach before, right?” Todd asks quietly. Dirk shakes his head against his knees. Reaching out a hand to Dirk’s shoulder, Todd smiles and adds, “It doesn’t have to be all bad, you know. Let’s put on our sandals and go see the seals!”

The detective slowly looks up at his friend and realizes that even though the beach isn’t _quite_ what he imagined, he is still very lucky to be in such great company. He considers Todd’s proposal for a nanosecond, then grins broadly and reaches over for his sandals to start pulling them on. The offending sand again makes itself known, eliciting the nastiest of glares from Dirk while he brushes it off the soles of his feet and winces while he works it out from between his toes. Eventually he gets through the distressing sensory experience and hops to his feet, throwing yet another pleased grin at Todd.

With the bright sunlight glinting off their sunglasses, the two of them share a moment of unsaid affection between them before trekking off across the beach toward the rocks on the northern side. Farah acknowledges them while she body-surfs in the waves, her dark brown skin shining beautifully in the sheen of the saltwater and sunshine. The pair reach the seal alcove, and Dirk is overcome with glee at watching the large sea mammals sunbathing, their snorts and snuffles filling the air around them. A particularly robust seal flops ungainly about on a nearby rock, eventually relaxing onto his back with his flippers spreadeagle. Todd, his shoulder pressed against Dirk’s, shakes with giggles as he watches the creature. The two of them look and laugh, and Dirk realizes that even though it’s not what he expected, it’s definitely what the three of them _needed_ : a day at the beach.

Certainly, _definitely_ the _best_ decision he’s ever made.


End file.
